Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have a reading level above third grade

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Can you share a story of someone who had a lucky experience while hitchhiking?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If The Switch 2 Is Your Introduction To Breath Of The Wild, Prepare For Countless Hours Of Adventure - Kotaku

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I see through liars

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I actually pay taxes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What are the signs of covert narcissistic abuse that most people miss?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand how hurricane paths work

What is the cost of implementing synchronized traffic lights in a mid-sized city?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

For an unpublished short story writer, what magazines or online publications offer the best chance of being recognized?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

If Donald Trump is so evil and Joe Biden is so good why is Trump the one selflessly providing Bibles for the needy while Biden doesn't? Why doesn't Biden care for America's spiritually needy people as much as Trump?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

In what ways is modern day Russia similar to the USSR? How does it differ from the USSR in terms of culture and politics?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Isn't it great that we have an incoming president who is embracing ideas from the past like manifest destiny? Isn't it greater that Trump is willing to get us more territory and land?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What were Sauron's powers in The Lord of the Rings (LOTR)? Did he have any magic or anything like that?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I can read

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can count

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”